TotalDrama Pornography Story: The Impressive Trip Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All I
own is the plot.

Chapter 1: Health Class

I really hate health class with Mrs. Wilson (or simply Wilson). And
I never was able to get why I had to have that class last period and
why I had to be in it with Justin, Duncan, and Tyler. Tyler is
really annoying and thinks he’s all that, but in reality he gives
everyone migraines. Not literally, but you get what I mean. Duncan
is also annoying, and I think he tries to be. Plus, he’s allies with
Justin.

And Justin… well, he’s my sworn enemy. He always puts people
down, brainwashes people, and commits other acts of evil. Yet he is
unfairly attractive and is easily able to trick any girl and/or my
friend Owen. Even Gwen, my soul mate.

Gwen is also in my health class and I sit right behind her. On
Valentine’s Day, Wilson caught me writing her a valentine and read it
to the whole class. Then, as Gwen and I blushed, Justin said rather
loudly, Who knew? Little Trent is a romantic! Justin treats
me like I am younger than him, hence the term little Trent.
I’m actually a month older than he is, but I am also two inches or so
shorter than him. How I wish Justin were extremely short and awkward
like Cody and Ezekiel. Harold is awkward too, but he’s no shorter
than me.

On the last day of eighth grade, we had health class. Sometime
during a lecture about taking care of babies that I had tuned out
(wow, since when did tons of young teens start having babies?),
Justin decided to get to Tyler in a deep way: insulting his mom.

Tyler’s mom is a hoe, he taunted in a voice quiet enough for
only me and Tyler to hear him.

No, she’s not, said Tyler.

Are you kidding me? Your mom is the world’s biggest hoe.

No.

You are the child of a hoe.

Stop it, Justin.

They went on and on until finally I got way too annoyed and punched
the back of Justin’s head.

Ow! What was that for?

What, Justin? asked Wilson.

Trent hit me! said Justin, adding a fake sob.

Duncan whooped.

Trent, did you hit him?

Yes, I said calmly.

Duncan whooped again.

Why did you do that, Trent?

Tyler answered for me. Justin was calling my mom a hoe and
deserved to be hit.

Really, Tyler?

Justin answered proudly. I did. And I’ll say it again only with
different wording: Tyler’s mother is a worthless slut.

Duncan whooped yet again. That was getting old. Yeah
pretty-boy!

Tyler was turning beet red with anger. Don’t you dare call my
mother that again! He jumped on Justin and began to punch him.

Duncan grabbed Gwen, who was laughing but looked shocked. Hey
Gwen, wanna be a slut like Tyler’s mom? Me and Justin will be happy
to fulfill your wish.

I jumped on Duncan and began to punch HIM. Don’t say that to
Gwen!

Duncan started punching me back while Justin continued to sing,
Tyler’s mom is a hoe!

BOYS! STOP FIGHTING AT ONCE! screeched Wilson. We all
stopped. Somehow none of us were bleeding or bruised.

Wilson continued. As a punishment for your childishness, the
four of you must together present to the class how to care for a
baby, using a real baby that is the child of another teacher.

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh
crap, oh crap. Had that evil sadist bitch known that we hadn’t been
paying attention? But if it was what I had to do in order to pass
health, I had to do that presentation. How bad could it be?

Then Wilson handed the baby to Tyler. Young Tyler will
physically demonstrate each action.

TYLER?

Holy crap, this WAS bad.

First, we had to demonstrate feeding. Against all of our advice,
Tyler unscrewed the top of the bottle and poured the milk down the
baby’s throat. The entire class was cracking up.

Next was burping. Tyler screwed up even worse this time. He hung
the baby by its ankles and shook it.

Tyler Tyler that’s probably not a good idea, I warned.

Flip it right side up, you idiot! cried Justin.

Meanwhile, Duncan was in fits of laughter.

Without warning, the upside down baby puked milk all over Tyler.

That was the worst thing that could possibly happen for me at that
moment. See, I have a weak stomach. So therefore, in case anyone
(see Tyler) needs a translation, I puke easily.

Tyler stood there in shock.

Meanwhile I ran to the trash can and threw up.

God, Tyler, you idiot! Couldn’t you at least have had it puke on
Trent? cried Justin.

Why me?! I puked enough already from just seeing Tyler’s clothes
after the incident!

Wilson looked very satisfied with herself. All of you fail.
Meanwhile, I would advise you all to clean up.

WHAT?! I’ve never failed in my life! Neither has Justin, but I
honestly don’t care about him.

Wilson continued. Once you are all clean, please report to the
principal’s office.

So
now we were getting in trouble for Tyler’s screw-up. Just great.
Exactly how I wanted to kick
off my summer.

Little did I know at the time, we were headed for way worse trouble
than we expected.

A/N: Ha!
Cliffhanger! By the way, in case anyone was wondering about my other
stories, they somehow all got deleted. That really sucks. But I
hope you can forgive me for being unable to work any more on my other
stories and enjoy this one and the ones to come. And I didn’t make
up that Trent has a weak stomach to be mean to him, he actually says
he does in Brunch of Disgustingness. Blame the producers.